Lessons Learned

or, Anthony Dhanendran's guide to calm...

Whatever degree it is you're studying for, it is the least important part of why you are here. Always leave your work until the last possible moment at which you can conceivably begin and complete it. Something will always come along; these things have a habit of resolving themselves.

Do not let revision in forthcoming weeks distract you from the football, cricket, or most importantly the snooker. Such things as exams are sent to try our patience and stamina in the face of adversity. Happy is the student who can watch every frame of a championship snooker game, followed up by the cricket highlights, and still be awake throughout the exam the next morning. You have to be awake during the exam, otherwise it doesn't count. What you do afterwards (collapse, etc...) is your business.

Bristol is much nicer in the Summer, after all of the students have left, and it is worth staying around here, rather than going back to Hampshire or Kent. While this piece of advice seems self-defeating, the combination of no-one reading this column and no-one taking its advice will conspire with the effect that it'll still be nice around here over the Summer months.

Epigram never, ever, has enough writers. You will notice the comedy pseudonyms (of the three people left writing each section) start to stack up in the last few issues of each year, as the few hardy souls who turn up to writers' meetings realise they're not getting nearly enough free stuff, and decide to concentrate on (whisper it) work. Student press is well known, of course, as a free ticket to gigs, CDs, festivals, restaurants and anything else you care to mention, and Epigram Towers is, of course, blag central...

In the same vein, no-one ever writes to the paper any more. Granted, you don't get anything free out of it (unlike the NME, we don't often offer jobs to people slagging us off, as they tend to be disgruntled ex-writers, subs or Union hacks). The readers, patronising as the phrase may be, are the lifeblood of this and any newspaper, and it is yours to defend or otherwise.

Finally, and most obviously (and most patronisingly), never trust anyone who claims to know what's best. From the government and police to lecturers, Union officials and particularly journalists. Authority is there to be questioned (constructively). Don't be the last out of the door, and don't switch off the lights as you leave.

Similarly, I suspect, to most undergraduates, I have found that the majority of what I've learnt here bears very little relation to the title of my degree. Certainly the more interesting pieces of information that have come my way in the last four years have had only a tenuous link to the world of Engineering. In that spirit, I couldn't possibly leave without passing on a few pieces of worldly wisdom. There is much to see and do here, within easy reach of most students, and there is much to be seen, from some guy taking his relief on a pavement just off Park Street to the stunning summer sunsets to be seen from the balcony outside Epigram's office. So this is it - it's been fun.

Signing off...